alot of relationships go wrong because of expectations... or rather expectation gap.
don't you think we tend to have higher expectations of people with whom we are close to? for instance, if you are in a relationship with this guy, your expectations of him will be higher than if you were not with him. i suppose this is normal coz you would be factoring him into your life. as in... ok, i will be with him for the rest of my life, he better be able to finance my shopping in Italy and my dinners in Paris with my best friend! but should you suddenly break up with this very same guy, it doesn't matter anymore, whether he has a career/ car/ house/ drive/ humour/ abs/ etc...
expectations also play a role in friendship maintenance. i remember a long long time ago... when we were in high school. we were in the same class for 5 long years. some have forged very close friendships. sadly, when we were forced to split up as some went to form 6 and some to college, some of these friendships disintegrated. these friendships could have been maintained if these friends had EXPECTED changes! had expected that... my good friend will find another good friend, won't be seeing him/ her everyday, won't be spending as much time together, won't be the first to know if she had a tiff with her stupid bf! if those changes were EXPECTED, then when these friends meet up, there would be no hard feelings. precious time would be spent catching up with each other instead of interrogation as to why we were not the first to know!!
i also remembered a time when i was "allowed" to be late for mamak sessions. that was when i was working like a dog in PwC and Prudential SA. my friends were definitely more forgiving than now. with my new job, i am expected to be on time! tardiness would not be tolerated. this, is also due to changes in expectations. when they had expected me to be late, it was forgivable..
so, i suppose key to a happy relationship would be to adjust one's expectations?
of course only to a tolerable level.... afterall, he must be able to finance those dinners in Paris!
1 comment:
I totally agreed with your definition of 'expectations'. And I truly appreciate our conversation that night! Thanks my dear! I felt so much better now!
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