Live to 100: Secrets of the Blue Zone

Check this out on Netflix. A must-watch!

a docu-series on how to live well. very insightful. very interesting. especially since i have been told by some goldies that they would like to do more, but they now lack energy... or are short of breath... or have pains in their knees... you get the picture.

which leads to the next question. when do we stop working? do we stop working? should we stop working? is working and enjoying life mutually exclusive? what does it mean to enjoy life?

i only know of one person who has retired early. in his forties. and apparently he is enjoying himself. playing golf. keeping healthy. stress free. spending time with family and friends. i suppose enjoying life would be different for everybody. but doing what you love, keeping healthy and stress free, spending time with family and friends sounds about right way to go about it? 

i suppose i can survey goldies to find out if they would have managed retirement any differently? planned better? got into less debt? buy less? buy more? retired earlier? travelled more? travelled less? it would be interesting to find out. 

i would be considered goldies to the younger people. what can i share? what have i learnt so far? if there is ever a time you are concerned about what other people may think. don't. people think about you far far less than you can imagine. the best way to convey this message so far, was to ask - have you attended a wedding before? did you believe you have to dress very well for the wedding? when you see photos of the said wedding, who do you normally look for in the picture? (the answer, if one is honest, would be myself) and then perhaps you would look for the person that you have an interest in, and maybe you would look for the bride and bridegroom. everybody would have done the same. so, if you have a wedding to attend, don't be too worried about the dress you are wearing, how you look. create the memories you want with the people you are with. enjoy the wedding. don't worry about what everybody else thinks. tell yourself, whether you like me or not, is mind over matter - i don't mind and you don't matter. because the right people will like you for you. this is not saying go to the wedding in your pjs, but it is not the end of the world if people are seeing you in the same dress that you wore to the event you attended last year. (edit: based on my bestie's input - what if wearing a different dress makes you superbly happy? then by all means, get the dress! coz then you are doing it for you!)

applicable for a whole lot of other things in life. 

and oh, EVERYTHING is temporary. so, try not to fret. things will blow over. and everything will somehow be alright again. it may not be the same. but it would be alright.

when you are falling... dive

was the very interesting answer on Quora by one Antti Vanhanen. The question was what is a way we can always get what we desire?

first, know that dreams and desires are limitless and cannot be defeated.

however, we have been conditioned to think happiness comes from fulfilling dreams and desires. essentially putting ourselves in a position to never find happiness.

the key is, to learn to desire what we already have.

easier said than done. we have been taught that the above would be what losers would say. we have been taught to have more would be great. that is because if desire does not exist, then how would those who have, have more?

so, to learn, lean in. when you are falling... dive. turn whatever misfortune is happening into a voluntary act. instead of resisting, embrace. want it to happen(!). lean in to pain, suffering, discomfort, confusion, lack.

tell me, do you then feel the truth in the answer? please share as i am not sure i will have the courage to dive!

how hv you been babes?

is a really tough question to answer...

do i bore you with the many things i have to whine about? like how i try to treat my parents well and they are making it really difficult. like how the person i had wanted to build a business for (and hopefully with) turns out to be.... difficult to look up to. like how i am considering starting a business of my own, but am totally freaked out about the amount of work it would take to make it happen. like how maxis home broadband sucks and how it is challenging to switch to another provider in this day and age in a "developing country" (how many years have we been "developing" already?) 

or do i go the usual - everything is great, how are you doing? - inauthentic, deflecting strategy that is totally non value adding? 

i suppose it all boils down to interest. am i interested to build a relationship with a person? because it take time. it takes effort. and because through the many many years i have been here and through the many many relationships i have been through, i have learnt that many turn out to be not what i expected. then again, that sounds like attachment... i should go in without expectations. that way, i don't get disappointed. perhaps it would make me naturally less judgy? just do me and let them be them? but then again, once a person is invested, has an interest in another, care for another... there is this crazy tendency to have expectations - how they should behave to you, how they should be for their own sake (as in how we know better than them what is good for them > <)

i suppose this board meeting in my head is not going to go anywhere. let's conclude and say, just get in there. be me. let them to them. advise if asked. otherwise learn to listen. focus on creation. focus on moving forward. 

let it be.