an inexplicable sadness

cannot really say inexplicable. reason is clear. it is the only thing to do to preserve what is left.  however, there is an overwhelming sadness. emptiness. perhaps it is fate.  

patterns

if i take the time, i would notice certain patterns in my life. there are things that repeat itself in numerous forms, numerous ways because if i do the same things, or react in a similar way, i get the same results.

and because i have some things which were “programmed” in me, i act a certain way when i am on auto pilot... when i am not conscious.

if i want change, i have to do things differently. the only way to do things differently is if i am conscious of what i am doing that is producing the results i am getting. taking the time to figure this out is worth it. and no, it is not overthinking. and sometimes, perhaps acting on it, whether it is or is not the right thing to act on, may just provide an answer as to what should be done next... or at the very least, what is not the right thing to act on!

note to self, take time to figure out the consistent action or reaction that is producing the same results over and over again. do something different. it does not matter what. just do it.

complementary

i don't know about long term goals. but my short term goal is to stop waiting for things to happen. 

i was inspired by amanda tan wei ru. she showed me that if you want something badly enough and you work towards it, doing all that you can...the right people, right tools and right opportunities will turn up. 

tried it. worked. it was an amazing experience. the law of attraction is real. however, it is not easy to maintain this power. doubts creep in. obstacles appear. easier and more familiar options appear. tempting one to travel the path well trodden. 

my saving grace is having a partner who complements me. being analytical and very much a thinker, i found a do-er partner. a runaway train really. we just have to sync up our cycles such that when i think too much and doubt creeps in, she makes headway and propels me ahead. when she is tired, i work on something that she did not want to do, but she feels is important; thus giving her the feeling that we are progressing... motivating her to move on. 

let's see where we go from here 

Elon Musk vs Jack Ma

just watched an fb post. mindblown.

somebody decided it was smart to place elon musk in a "debate" with jack ma. in a room full of chinese audience. it totally crushed jack ma.

it was disappointing. i did not really know much about jack ma prior to this fb post. after this fb post, i am convince he is full of fluff. contradicted himself during the event. grasping and denying without a strong basis. this much is certain, one of his plans include exploitation of education industry.

elon musk on the other hand, a league of his own. there is only one issue. he is unable to slow his thoughts down enough, dumb it down enough to verbalize it in a way the audience is able to comprehend.

the audience, based on comments on fb. fair bit of oblivious arse kissers. some objective observers.

learnt alot though. elon has very intense thoughts and made many compelling statements.

humans have existed a long long time. we have not been able to understand ourselves all this time. otherwise, history would not have repeated itself. when AI takes over, we will understand ourselves. this is because it is easier to see than to imagine. seeing AI's future evolution is understanding humans. this is because AI is programmed by humans. unfortunately. humans are flawed. imagine those flaws programmed into something that will not ever expire.

fight for the light of consciousness. interesting advice. need to delve into it. But seems like matrix may be the next movie to rightly predict what is in the horizon.