partnership

i had always thought having a business was going to be fun. until i had one. perhaps the issue was not having a business, rather a partnership. a partnership - be it romantic or business - is never easy. it usually starts off fun and then one would be tested. it can be rewarding. but it is never easy. 

indeed.... it has been quite a roller coaster... but i have learnt alot. 

i have learnt that it is important to choose a partner who is aligned with you on the direction of the business. one who believes in the potential of the business as much as you do. and if the partner does not, the business can be structured to reflect that. however, nobody should go into a partnership thinking it is possible to gain equally without putting in the effort (or at least a share of the risks) and without sharing the same vision for the business. 

i have learnt that it is important to choose a partner who shares your principles. some would like to treat their partners as how they would like to be treated. and as it is always subjective, some would want to ensure it is fair, as far as possible. and then there are some who would just like to ensure their own interests are protected at the expense of everybody else.

effort is difficult to quantify. which is why it is important to keep in mind, without the partners, we would not have come to this stage - whatever the stage is. i have learnt that a partner would have to strive to put in same amount of effort. and herein lies the difficulty. effort it very subjective. there are some values which are not very quantifiable, yet very critical for success. there are some skillsets that are unique to a partner. then, there are some relationships unique to a partner, which can be passed on to another partner. and some with concepts or knowledge once shared, is owned by all. but one thing is clear. the lack of effort is always clear. 

this concept of effort - some which directly result in financial gains, and some which does not directly result in anything tangible - is always further complicated by the concept of choice and risk appetite. some of us have a higher risk appetite. some cannot see the reason to take the risk as at that point in time. again, the partnership can always be structured to reflect the situation, provided the partners share the overall vision for the business and is able to think in the shoes of another. if one does not believe in the business, lower shareholdings and step out of the way. if one does believe in the business, step up and help the business along.

lastly, most importantly, ego. most of us would say, we do not have an ego. and always, somebody else does. but that would be the most common denial. as most of us identify with a sense of self. some like to be known or seen as kind. generous. honorable. smart. nice. whatever it may be, it exists. all in our head. and when that sense of self is attacked, one loses the ability to think. as it would be primal instinct to protect. whatever is in our head. because that is us. our experience of life is in there. along with the person whom we believe have been experiencing life as us. 

a partner may identify as kind and generous when actions speak otherwise. some may want to give others space to reach the level at which they are at. not realizing that there is a fine line between space given and their tipping point. i suppose the importance of the ability to communicate is key. partners must be able to self evaluate and acknowledge what the other partners are saying. that requires trust. even if we do not immediately see their point of view, the ability to discuss it, process it and understand it is important. so, understanding the partner's ego, partner's thought processes, communication, trust is important to ensure alignment. 

so in choosing a partner - share the vision and values. understand the ego and thought processes. periodic calibration - communication and trust - is critical.  

 

steal vs claim

shopee came into my life when lockdown took place, thanks to covid-19.

it is a very smart app. it has games that keep you coming back to the app. 

one of the games is a farm, where you pick a tree that you will water and at the end of a certain amount of water droplets fed to the tree of your choice, you get the reward associated with that tree. it is like a tamagotchi with rewards. if you don't know what a tamagotchi is, go google it. 

anyway, what was interesting was, when we were just suppose to water the tree, i did so, but not with very much diligence. 

but then the shopee games people introduced the concept of "steal". this is where, if your watering can is full, and you did not water your tree, then your friends who visit your garden, and help you water your tree, will also get to steal a few droplets from a separate bucket located next to your tree! those droplets stolen will be deducted from your watering can! that was surprisingly, a big motivator~ the fear of losing those few droplets kept me coming back to water my tree rather religiously. although, when i thought about it, i would have lost more droplets by not watering as diligently, before the ability to steal water was introduced....

then the shopee games people stopped the steal concept and introduced "claim". this is where you get to claim water droplets and the person whom you claim it from will not "lose" those droplets. so, you do not have to worry about your friends stealing your water. and if you visit them at the right time, you get to claim more water! funny how that was not as big a motivator. for me at least. even though the droplets you are able to claim is more than what you can steal!! 

looks like fear of losing is stronger motivator that an opportunity to gain. perhaps that is most other people as well. if that is not the case, then most people will be having their own business vs being gainfully employed, no? 

thoughts? 

mission

i think old people should live better. it seems my life mission will be to enable the elderly to live well... my ideas seems geared in that direction. 

there was the if i am a gazillionaire, i will build a paradise for the elderly... a place just outside the city, by the beach, where the elderly live their golden years in bliss. where they can meet friends, unfriend, date, have sex, break up, get married, get divorced.... have all the drama they had when they were young. where they can find their soul mates, share hobbies, share secrets, share joy, share fears. where they feel independent, cherished, valued and important. 

then there is the super wearable - which would detect if someone has a fall, sends emergency messages to pre-determined emergency contacts, able to share location, automatically connects to an ambulance service which will bring you to the nearest hospital/ nearest hospital of your choice depending on the urgency of the situation, clear your insurance as you are on the way.... apparently this is partially in existence. i suppose creating an eco-system does sound challenging. 

there is the community living - where the beautiful, capable ladies i know do not experience a sense of urgency to get married with an undeserving man just because the rest of her friends have found a partner and because she feels the need to secure her own lifelong companion. which nowadays is not lifelong anyway. because she now has the option to live with a group of friends who will support one another, share resources, cook and share meals, share pools and other common infrastructures, car pool, emotionally support one another as they live like families since families are getting smaller, and smaller.... good news would be apparently the property developers are looking at this direction. 

let's not forget GeriAce - my school for the seniors, set up in abandoned malls that are already equipped with wheelchair ramps and elevators. we can make good use of the buildings which may otherwise be abandoned monstrous eye sores. the seniors can learn how to start gardens or farms, how to use the internet (though I cannot imagine being the instructor), how to dance, arrange group tours, create small businesses and support each other.

my employment also seems to revolved around the elderly - first left atrial appendage, then transcatheter aortic valve implantation....

and most recently, COVID-19 pandemic has given me the opportunity to see how many parents has been living. i want something better for them....

so perhaps i that shall be my life mission~

in the spirit of abundance, i share these ideas and invite the whole world to achieve the same or more!!

the best version

 most of us believe we are meant to be more

that we have not reached our fullest potential

and that is what most of us really want to do

but how many of us actually get there? 

would we know when we are there?

most of us spend time pondering, when it is no secret. all those who are there have shared how.

so, today's improvement - first things first. and let's make it a habit.

moving forward

moving forward is not as easy sometimes....

when you have seen a side you do not wish to see....

when you cannot un-see what you have seen....

when what you once see as great is really not so....

what can be done? 

again, expectations is the culprit. how do one adjust expectations. how do one eliminate expectations. it seems having expectations is the problem. i think i have a post that says comparison is the problem. but i suppose one can only compare if one has an expectation. all though each and every one of us is different, but if we have the same background, we expect to be comparable. if we are the same age, we expect to be comparable. we find one common factor and all of a sudden, we are comparable. 

then again, who says it cannot be both?

expectations and comparisons are the problems. sorted. 

so, back to moving forward.... 

note to self....

7 June 2020

some of these points were brought up during ALS. when attending ALS, there were some topics that were not clear. but over time, as i experience life, i gained more clarity. 

it is true. we are all more similar than you can possibly imagine. attending this course simply enhanced awareness. experiencing life allow one to go deep. as we progress through life, meeting many different personalities - they only seem different at a glance. as one experience the person, they inevitably fall into one of lessons in the course. it is magic! 

then again, it may be the case of thinking yellow cars and all of a sudden yellow cars appear every where....

whatever the case may be.... there are a few note to self. i should go through this list every morning (so i say today! know myself better than to make such a commitment)... anyway here goes....

• say less, listen more

• do NOT interrupt mid sentence (most recent lesson)

• victim story: do NOT find a reason for failure (it wouldn't matter anyway, might as well spend the energy and time looking for ways to succeed) - the story can be repeated a million times, broadcast for the whole world to see, and it would not matter - because to you, you failed 

• intention: when this is unclear, nothing will happen

• focus: when you are clear and single minded, you will succeed. the people you need will appear. the path to success will be clear. resonance. vibration. energy. it is amazing. (the last dance) (the secret)

• be brave. it is truly better to apologize than to ask for permission. just do it!

• mirror: when we dislike something in another person - remember to look a little deeper. resolve the issue. until the lesson is learnt, it will persist. what you resist, will persist. because the universe is more stubborn than you. when the universe wants you to learn something, you will learn it eventually....

• surrender: plant the seed. water the plant. and trust it will grow. if one think of drought, drought may come. no need for such control. if it comes, it comes. and if it comes, perhaps a new tools will be created due to the drought. but no need to attract the drought!!

• we already have everything we need to succeed inside us. some books say god is inside each and everyone of us. some say god is everywhere. i am not particularly pious (getting a feeling of de javu - so i may have blogged on this before), and i am not claiming to be right. this is just how it seems to come together for me. if we have to believe in something else... the powers up above, to enable surrender.... then we actually do have everything inside of us to succeed in the first place. the entire concept of religion seems to be allowing surrender. you do what you can and surrender. so prayer works because as one pray, one is believing it will happen instead of attracting the wrong energy by thinking about all that can go wrong. disclaimer: i did not read the books that may have the above title. so, i did not mean to quote them!!

• contract: brave, passionate, honest

(i have probably forgotten some of the lessons learnt and i will not be blogging those i have not quite understand. so this post - to be updated periodically)

• 1 sep 2020: an update. a lesson learnt from yesterday. again, we are all the same! we all seek happiness. the only thing different is the level of awareness that happiness is a mindset and for the unaware, what we think we need to be happy. many would think money would bring happiness. some say prominence or a sense of importance would bring happiness. some wants to be married or to have found a soul mate to be happy. some thinks being married or having found a soul mate would make their parents happy (this is worse, because if the parents are unaware, then after you have gotten married, you would need to get a baby for them to then want another grandchild and then would want to see you have a big car or a big house, etc.... to be happy!) i suppose that may be why most gurus would ask those who want enough money to be happy - how much would be enough? because there is no quantum. you are happy or you are not. be.do.have.

• also very linked to victim story. i suppose if one is unhappy, and if one does not believe it is his or her mindset, then it must be somebody else's fault! and of course the whole world must know the same! and so the story goes.... everybody is always thinking i am not important.... everybody takes advantage of me.... everybody bullies me.... you get the idea. also linked to post on "patterns". if everybody is always doing something. the problem is likely self.

• realization - that all the self development courses is very simply providing awareness of what is. there is really no secret. is it there, plain and simple. but we need someone we trust to know, to tell us. or we need to undergo a process to be aware. a process we believe worked because we saw the change in someone else. 

• 3 sep 2020: How can I forget thinking in abundance. one of the toughest thing to do as we are programmed to be the opposite. but amazing how a simple paradigm shift can bring one so much more. 

only about 20 years behind....

i love ideation. or at least what i understand it to be! i love coming up with ideas that i consider brilliant!! so for the last few years, i have been writing down the ideas on new apps that come to me whenever i need something. unfortunately, i am not internet nor app savvy enough to realize that some of these ideas already exist.... 

the latest being my app called decon (from deconstructed). it was meant to enable a business owner to deconstruct his business into numerous parts, each which is managed or created by someone else. business owner is therefore, more like a project manager. employees will be freelancers. effectively jumping into the bandwagon of more effective utilization of resource thanks to the internet - uberizing people!

i went on the put this app into a picture. containing all the pages, features, databases, links... you get the idea. then i looked for a developer. the first person i approached was my monster brother. i described the app and he went "it already exist"... to add salt to wound "20 years ago". type upwork into google. and there goes a dream....

having said that, a friend of mine - andrew - said (not in his exact words, but something to the effect of) - whatsapp came out after icq. facebook came out after friendster. and quoting his dad's favourite person in the world, "..follow your passion"...to take that advice, i will have to recover from this mini set back. 

the last dance

m had pushed me to watch this documentary of michael jordan and chicago bulls. i was wondering why. then i watched it. (at least i started watching it! in the middle of it right now - but i had to note this down before i forget it!!)

inspiring.... 

in the documentary, everybody was telling their story. why what happened, happened. just like in the real world. everybody tells their story. and there were the ones who stood out - michael jordan, scottie pippen, dennis rodman, magic johnson, phil jackson, even jerry krause - they were good, if not, great at what they do. 

but what really stood out to me, was how michael told his story. there was very little on the whys, and hows. there was very little concern about what other people think or do. very little concern on prepping others about what the story is. very little need for a story. it was just what needed to be done to get there. the incredible focus. 

i am sure life is not perfect for anybody. but what some choose to focus on drives them differently. and so they stand out differently. 

also inspiring - how phil jackson brought out the best from each individual and how he pushed the right people to bring the team together. the perspective, the strategy and the persuasiveness. all while being himself. 

then magic johnson - there is an awareness. and yet there is lightness. there is good. and his face... there is kindness. 

of course, this is a documentary and perhaps like biographies, it is scripted, proof read, edited. perhaps it is very different from what is truly experienced by those present then. but like a very wise man said, it does not matter if it truly happened. what matters is the story is told in a way, it gives guidance. 

i will take that.

and what a last dance that must have been. 

new ways

imagine if we take only what is necessary from earth. like what the other creatures do. imagine if we help each other when it is necessary. imagine if everybody is a giver. we will always have enough.... 

And The Band Played On 1993

an interesting movie. there are heroes amongst us... as there are monsters. how self interest of a few would expose many many others to dangers, risks, death that can be avoided. and then how disgusting, that the monsters are subsequently revered. so many a times credit has been taken by those not worthy. some may say no conclusions can be made after watching one movie. no matter that the movie has shown what has been seen time and again in real life. the fact that is it so likely is what made it so compelling. makes one think... have i been on the side of the heroes? or the monsters? fact is, only the hero or the monster would know. the rest have bought a story. and we all know there are two sides to a story. fact is also that even the hero or the monster would have bought a story. which is why the story has to be told time and again. to convince themselves that it is justified. in the end, perhaps no one would know who is a hero nor a monster. i guess the question is, does it matter? hero or monster, after death, does it matter? everything is transient...

born during quarantine

interesting to note... taobao was born during quarantine. what a feat! interesting that times of difficulties brought about so many many advancements. advancements due to necessity. and so many technological advancements came about due to wars.

we are now at war vs a very very cunning virus. i wonder what happens in the coming months... what brilliant minds are at work right this minute. i wonder if signs of covid can be detected on wearables?

teach

those who can't, teach. is that true? i was told that i should consider teaching on a platform called Udemy - teach the world online. i am flattered. but what can i teach? how to talk c@#%? what am i good at?

sleeping?

thinking big?

projecting forward like a couple of decades?

surprisingly sensitive to non-verbal cues! (sometimes) so i guess that would be called luck and not skills

procrastinating (if that is a skill, i will knock it out of the park, big time...)

analyzing.... that must be it.... i found it. my skill. i can analyze anything to the minutest detail. 

hmm... maybe teaching is not a good idea.

just do it

hesitation. that is the problem. i need to listen to this daily. 

https://youtu.be/JRzWRZahOVU

trust yourself. just do it. 

hey! i think i have another blog with this title. deja vu. hey! did i also have a blog with that title!?

detox

mother earth is doing a detox. a major detox. 

this is a historical event, and i figure it would be a good time to start blogging again. it is an event that hit the whole world. tearing down borders. making us not different. it does not matter which country. what colour. how old. how rich. how smart. how pretty. we are all the same. all at risk. 

the weather seems better. making me wonder if that is how mother earth needed us to be. inside our homes. doing nothing. giving her a rest. slow everything down. 

but will we learn? will we realize the difference between needs and wants? will we just re-start and push harder than ever after having a taste of mortality and how transient everything is. how little time we actually have. how much time we spent doing the unnecessary. 

i guess we have to see if the whole world can flatten the curve. it seems if we do not do this together, at the same time, it will be futile. on second thought, perhaps it is forcing us to put up borders instead of tearing it down.....