wanna eat cake

it's funny how we really can't have the cake AND eat it!

it's almost always one or another. good which comes with the bad. how attaining every want would involve some form of sacrifice.

high paying job, more work or more stress. joy of having babies, a need to provide for them. more tasty food, possibly more health issues. (et cetera...)

unless...

they say mediocrity might be the answer.

don't aim for the best? being kinda happy is suppose to mean less problems? less pay means less stress? less pleasure means less pain??

boils down to mindset. first of all, less or more is relative. mediocrity is relative. happiness is relative. relative to who? it's up to you isn't it? who you want to compare yourself to... whether you want to compare at all?

some say don't compare, it's not necessary. some say compare, it'll drive you. i say compare if you feel like it. no hard and fast rules. just do whatever makes you happy. at this moment. too rash? yea... maybe a little bit too rash. just do it, taking into account the other factors that matters to you... may not make such a great tagline.

but who's to say what's right or wrong? who would know? maybe on what everybody calls judgement day. maybe we would be able to view a video of all the possible permutations of the many decisions we have made and will make in our lives? maybe we can sit through the show making all the choices using a remote control and follow through till the end. and we would finally know whether we did right or wrong. but by then, does it matter?

those who are employees may be able to relate. i think throughout your lives you would have met ppl who are very "loyal" to the company. the person works hard. butters the boss. gets on competitors nerves. saves company's money and pisses off the vendors. and ppl go "why?" it's not his company. why do that when in the end, he gets a pittance relative to amount he brought in, maybe some recognition... in exchange for what?

maybe it's the same for every human? the body is like a collection of cells and a soul. the body = the company. the soul = the employee. we do everything that is suppose to be good for "ourself". i suppose terminal illness would be VSS. and it is lifetime employment. but in the end, would the soul really benefit after having acted in the best interest of the "person"?

losing track... too much crappin'.... and it's 11:37pm. good nite everybody...