wow... i have the most superb friends ever. and it looks like other ppl have superb friends too.
i have been getting many interesting comments since the "controversial" posting involving team A/ team B. there are many postings from many anoynymouses who claims to be unrelated to team A/ team B/ and me!
however, from their comments, it seems like they are just protective friends of the one of the many teams. which is great. i am happy for these ppl who have such loyal friends. even if the way their loyalty is expressed leaves much to be desired. ie. by provoking my friends and trying to provoke me. but i am glad to note my friends have managed excellently!!! (lots of muacks!)
i must say, firstly, that i alot of comments are valid to a certain extent. different ppl have different comments because of their different experiences in life. conclusion no 1 : you ppl are not arguing! just commenting of different aspects of the same thing.
the only reason why it sounds like an argument is because a person is singled out, the their earlier posting is misintepreted (intentionally or otherwise, i have no idea).
for example, the one who singled out mf's comments. she was just saying that she can tell who are her real friends when she was through a period of time in her life when things were not easy. and mr anonymous comes up with come examples of what he thinks would have to be done to be regarded as a real friend. those examples might seem cynical. but they might be what he has experienced. don't buy, no friend.
but mr anonymous must also realise that there are many ways to be supportive, other than the monetary way. listening to the person sales pitch, providing feedback, generally being supportive when most ppl are turning away, are some of the stuff a friend can do to help another friend. so, mf and mr anonymous are not disagreeing. just different views of the same thing.
and jaimie's posting. she's a lovely, soft, and very protective friend. (in case you have not noted, being protective is a very motherly thing). but somemore mr anonymouses (i think there are more than one there) decide to select certain lines in her comments to misinterprete rather than see the true message being delivered. she was stating the fact that i felt my friends were not treated nicely and that she was proud to have me as a friend (and the feeling is mutual darling!!)
how did all those other comments come about (not that i am not happy to get that many comments!! :)) is just because i have new readers (yay!!!) which are from a different background, different upbringing, different ways of showing loyalty, different ways of interpreting stuff written. which is fine.
i am proud of how all my lovely friends have managed. how they have managed to remained calm and collected even when being provoked. how they have commented in as civil a way as possible, at the same time remaining fiercely protective and loyal! mf, km&jc, yean, jaimie, cell, love u ppl!!
3 comments:
After our telephone conversation this morning, i'm getting pretty upset with this whole situation, first of all... Is this your new way of communicating with your friends through your blog? It is totally fine to put in your thoughts in your blog, but personally to me i think it should be done only after you have resolve the misunderstanding....because the right information from both group was not channeled out correctly from you, maybe they don't demand an explaination but i think both gruop has their right to know the real situation, besides sometimes some people tend to turn and twist stories to make it controversial. Don't you tink this action will be unfair to both group? Don't you think everybody is INNOCENT until proven GUILTY? Secondly, if you post your thought in your blog, you will of course aspect a lot of comments to be it good or bad, after all, you have been promoting your blog to everyone you know!
After this incident, i'm not too sure how i could react to revert my feelings as to me, it's just a small matter, personally to me, group a has been wrongly accused for a lot of things that they did not do. Call me biased, but this is what my thought as a friend(if you still consider after reading this comment). If friendship with group a means so little to you, i don't know how would you value me from now onwards because all the while i thought we were having great time hanging out together....
At what expense you might ask yourself from your action.....you might not be bothered of the consequences but let me tell you this honestly, you are losing friends who once valued you as part of the group.
Don't get me wrong of me being biased, because if it was you, i will be there to defend you when your are wrongly accused of something you did not do. And as a friend again, i'm not offering you a cold shoulder, but just a friendly advise that you have done something rather controversial and by this action, everyone in both group a & b is pretty upset and some has already hold grudges against group a & b which is totally unneccesary....
JC
Hi PC,
Among all your so called friends, i think JC speaks wisely and maturely. Congratulations JC.....you are the truest of friends, because a true friend helps us point out our weaknesses and advise us to better ourselves. While some of your loyal friends have fiercely protected you against the barrage of criticism, without knowing why they were thrown at you or your friends. they are comforters who will lead you to believe you are perfect as you are, and that you should be contented. Some friends, or so called friends have heavily criticized your actions leading to a war of words between your friends, but have you considered how they felt when crucified them in your blog. The feeling would be no different if you were in their shoes.
Look deep in your heart, i'm sure you will see that some faults are of your own -maybe too proud to own up, or too upset to see. If the framework of the stories are true from group A and B, then you should apologize to group A for taking their friendliness for granted by pushing them to accept other friends of yours, and that you should apologize to group B for clearly misleading them to join group A's activity when you knew group A was reluctant, putting them in a spot. The result was total catastrophe - an further propagated by your comments posted on the blog. Group B were kind enough to hide their disappointment and discomfort - you thank them because they made you felt less guilty of your bad judgement. Group A were less diplomatic and some showed their resentment honestly. You cruficied them for not favoring your judgement and began pondering on friendship.
Your posting caused both parties to be defensive and later turn offensive - could you blame them? you would have done the same for your friends, as they have done for you in this blog.
You hold they key in correcting this situation. Comment moderation only helps damage control - not the healing process.
Have a good weekend...... and cheers! We've all made mistakes, we've made bad calls, and at times bad judgement, but we are all human. True friends would forgive and forget....
dear anonymous @ B,
i would say the above comment made too much sense to be moderated. since my mistakes have been pointed out very convincingly by B (not very clearly and not too convincingly, but nevertheless with efforts by JC), i feel i must apologise to group A for taking their feelings for granted and to group B for misleading them to feel welcome at the game.
HOWEVER, that does not mean i condone the way certain parties have acted. the lack of simple courtesy was uncalled for. i believe you do see my point of view in that as you, i believe would expect the very same for your friends should you be in my shoes.
i also believe, despite the many reasons you have came up with for them, that there are parties who have acted in a way that you yourself would have found disappointing. Not admitting their errors. And further looking for ways to sidetrack, concentrating on other factors on which they can lay the blame.
for healing to take place, treatment must be administered. for treatment to be administered, wound must be identified. you have done that. for that, i respect your views. but not all have that courage.
last but not least, i do not believe my friends have taken up sides again group A/ B. But maybe against a particular anonymous who is bent on provoking every one of the readers, in a very childish, cowardly and downright stupid manner. this moron has single brain celly created the "sides". but because of "innocent till proven guilty" (though i do not always subscribe to that policy), we shall make no further assumptions. benefit of a doubt given to all parties... till i get the evidence...
we let the matter rest. moderation will be done until the pest is rid of. but to the cowardly person posting comments under someone else's name, i would like you to know, you are the epitome of cowardice and stupidity. not worth another nano second of my time. so, go and die ler!!
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