everybody judges

i had thought i was judgy. i was listening to some very candid comments from a group of friends. and i realized that everybody judges. just that some are more vocal than others. it seems everybody also think they are right. only there is no right or wrong. it is right from the person's perspective. it is right based on the person's experience.

for example... someone older, who has children of their own would be able to relate better to a parent. and would advise others to spend time with their parents. 

somebody younger, with no children of their own, who has a parent who sacrificed their dreams for the sake of the family (and made sure the family is aware of their sacrifices) may prefer to strive hard for their own career. 

a man with his own family would be more protective of his father.

a woman may be able to empathize better with her mother. 

and of course, whoever agrees with you is smart! ><

Live to 100: Secrets of the Blue Zone

Check this out on Netflix. A must-watch!

a docu-series on how to live well. very insightful. very interesting. especially since i have been told by some goldies that they would like to do more, but they now lack energy... or are short of breath... or have pains in their knees... you get the picture.

which leads to the next question. when do we stop working? do we stop working? should we stop working? is working and enjoying life mutually exclusive? what does it mean to enjoy life?

i only know of one person who has retired early. in his forties. and apparently he is enjoying himself. playing golf. keeping healthy. stress free. spending time with family and friends. i suppose enjoying life would be different for everybody. but doing what you love, keeping healthy and stress free, spending time with family and friends sounds about right way to go about it? 

i suppose i can survey goldies to find out if they would have managed retirement any differently? planned better? got into less debt? buy less? buy more? retired earlier? travelled more? travelled less? it would be interesting to find out. 

i would be considered goldies to the younger people. what can i share? what have i learnt so far? if there is ever a time you are concerned about what other people may think. don't. people think about you far far less than you can imagine. the best way to convey this message so far, was to ask - have you attended a wedding before? did you believe you have to dress very well for the wedding? when you see photos of the said wedding, who do you normally look for in the picture? (the answer, if one is honest, would be myself) and then perhaps you would look for the person that you have an interest in, and maybe you would look for the bride and bridegroom. everybody would have done the same. so, if you have a wedding to attend, don't be too worried about the dress you are wearing, how you look. create the memories you want with the people you are with. enjoy the wedding. don't worry about what everybody else thinks. tell yourself, whether you like me or not, is mind over matter - i don't mind and you don't matter. because the right people will like you for you. this is not saying go to the wedding in your pjs, but it is not the end of the world if people are seeing you in the same dress that you wore to the event you attended last year. (edit: based on my bestie's input - what if wearing a different dress makes you superbly happy? then by all means, get the dress! coz then you are doing it for you!)

applicable for a whole lot of other things in life. 

and oh, EVERYTHING is temporary. so, try not to fret. things will blow over. and everything will somehow be alright again. it may not be the same. but it would be alright.

when you are falling... dive

was the very interesting answer on Quora by one Antti Vanhanen. The question was what is a way we can always get what we desire?

first, know that dreams and desires are limitless and cannot be defeated.

however, we have been conditioned to think happiness comes from fulfilling dreams and desires. essentially putting ourselves in a position to never find happiness.

the key is, to learn to desire what we already have.

easier said than done. we have been taught that the above would be what losers would say. we have been taught to have more would be great. that is because if desire does not exist, then how would those who have, have more?

so, to learn, lean in. when you are falling... dive. turn whatever misfortune is happening into a voluntary act. instead of resisting, embrace. want it to happen(!). lean in to pain, suffering, discomfort, confusion, lack.

tell me, do you then feel the truth in the answer? please share as i am not sure i will have the courage to dive!

how hv you been babes?

is a really tough question to answer...

do i bore you with the many things i have to whine about? like how i try to treat my parents well and they are making it really difficult. like how the person i had wanted to build a business for (and hopefully with) turns out to be.... difficult to look up to. like how i am considering starting a business of my own, but am totally freaked out about the amount of work it would take to make it happen. like how maxis home broadband sucks and how it is challenging to switch to another provider in this day and age in a "developing country" (how many years have we been "developing" already?) 

or do i go the usual - everything is great, how are you doing? - inauthentic, deflecting strategy that is totally non value adding? 

i suppose it all boils down to interest. am i interested to build a relationship with a person? because it take time. it takes effort. and because through the many many years i have been here and through the many many relationships i have been through, i have learnt that many turn out to be not what i expected. then again, that sounds like attachment... i should go in without expectations. that way, i don't get disappointed. perhaps it would make me naturally less judgy? just do me and let them be them? but then again, once a person is invested, has an interest in another, care for another... there is this crazy tendency to have expectations - how they should behave to you, how they should be for their own sake (as in how we know better than them what is good for them > <)

i suppose this board meeting in my head is not going to go anywhere. let's conclude and say, just get in there. be me. let them to them. advise if asked. otherwise learn to listen. focus on creation. focus on moving forward. 

let it be.

my beautiful wonderful crazy girlfriends

it has been 5 years since we last saw each other. and how our topics of interest has changed! so i decided to document this catch up session to see how we have changed come the next catch up...

since we last met, j and cy has given birth to babies, m has gotten married and all 5 of us has survived a pandemic.

as usual, we caught up with each other's lives. what has happened since we last met?

oohh! you are wearing glasses! yes, how all of a sudden, i could not focus on nearby object! sigh, a bane of aging.

how we met cy last week and how yl and cy missed each other by a week! how m missed cy coz she was in lombok. looking across to mount rinjani.

that i am still more into geriatric social media (ie facebook) vs the more current social media (ie. tik tok)

then yl's very fat looking cat which is in fact, just 3kg. A super fluffy cat. and of course yl's girls. 3 gorgeous girls all a little more grown up. and how her hubby actually has hair (nope, he is not bald!)

in the middle of all that talking, the cocktails were topped up and yl would of course need water. sparking the reminiscence of how my mom has always said that i should drink more water like yl does *eye roll

updates on our family.

sleep - the importance of sleep.

i suppose from all our chats this time around, i learnt that it is important to be grateful for what we have. so, practice gratitude. yes, i might need glasses, but i still have my eyesight! 

i got to know m a little better and i realized that we are all alot more similar than we think.

finally, what we resist do persist. i suppose resistance is from a place of fear. we don't like it because we see it in ourselves. we might be trying really hard not to be. but at the same time, some things are in the subconscious. i suppose not fearing it makes sense. because fearing it would mean, we are thinking of it. creating something else to take its place might work better...

Looking forward to the next meet up with my beautiful wonderful crazy girlfriends~

i need more I in my DISC

yesterday was interesting. i witness, first hand, how somebody who is trying to make it work motivated another person to want to work on something together. not saying no, saying how can we make it work. to build something with this person. this person was a DI (in DISC).

then another person comes along. was very honest and factual. totally demolished the motivation. the person was basically saying "you are already lucky", "you have enough for your necessities" and "you will not be getting more". there goes the motivation to truly build anything. this person was a CD (in DISC).

i am a CD... i need to get some I in me.

to crypto or not to crypto - part 3

so now we have a crypto saga... some dude who owns one of the largest crypto exchanges turns out to be a fraud. so here we have the 2008 crisis once again. it is the equivalent of having one of the most established investment banks collapse. not saying that this exchange is a gazillion years old. just saying that it is one of the significant players in the infrastructure for crypto currencies. 

does that mean crypto currency would lose value? 

well... to answer that question, you have to ask yourself, do we still require an alternative to fiat currencies?

in 2008, the fact that an investment bank collapse does not mean property is a bad asset class. it means the people who give out loans for properties should be selective. loans should be given out to people who are able to repay. it means that banker should not sell the risky loans to retirement funds by getting the rating agencies to say they are non risky loans. it means that government should not have bailed bad investment banks for making bad decisions without stating the clear criteria for bail out - ie they should not pay themselves shitload of money for f*cking up.

so, today, the fact that a fraudster caused the exchange to collapse does not mean all crypto currencies are worthless. it means (hopefully), that once the root cause of the collapse has been identified, that it would be prevented from happening again. it means (hopefully), that the other affected exchanges, if they survive, would have controls in place to prevent the same from happening again. it means (hopefully) that the worthless coins that may not be able to hold its worth would go away... at least for awhile.

but i suppose that is just history repeating itself. it always start off with the right intention. somebody want to enable something wonderful. then greed kicks in. someone figured out how to work the system. gets everybody into trouble. people wake up and learn from the mess. comes up with controls. it is peaceful for awhile and then greed kicks in again. and history repeats itself in different forms. nothing new really.

Love this flash mob

 

just

recently i met up with a childhood friend. she is married with three teenage children. i asked her, what has she been up to? she says she does nothing. as in she is not working. she is just a housewife. 

i think any man who would allow his life partner to ever feel like she what she contributes to the relationship is "less" in any way, do not deserve to be called a partner. this feeling would have placed the working partner at an "advantage". however, a true partner would not be manipulating his other half. a true partner would ensure the other half feels valued... that her contribution is equal, if not more valuable. only in this form of partnership, there will be synergy. 

in any other form, where one mostly takes, and one mostly gives, especially if the one giving is not acknowledged - there is usually resentment. and this form of relationship may be called partnership when in fact, it can only be toxic. unfortunately, this is more common, at least in southeast asia. i suppose it might be the effects of role modelling - children following in the footsteps of their parents. only very few escape this cycle. 

hence, the previous post. 

with synergy, support and acknowledgement, the answer would have been (with pride) "i am happily married with three beautiful teenage children and my time is spent taking care of my family"... or something to that effect.

* not sure if this is applicable if the man is a househusband. men are brought up differently. and i do not have enough househusbands to have a conversation with. any househusbands want to share? 

 

would you re-marry?

a survey performed yielded interesting results that i need to document...

so, i asked a bunch of ladies whose spouse has passed, if they would re-marry should the opportunity arise? the answer - no. they are open to dating, but not to re-marry. 

a similar surveys of the uncles yielded a different result - resounding yes! the younger the better!!

the result is telling.  

** applicable only in klang valley, malaysia (at this point in time!)

 

same same

when everything that is inconsequential is stripped away. when nobody wears a masks. when people are being honest.

we will find that we are all the same. we have the same wants. same fears. same impulses.

just different extent.

we are so same, it is crazy.

and when we finally realize it, there is a little bit of freedom in that.

control

this group of amazing people were having a healthy debate on a topic very important to many. simply because topic pertains to freedom to many people. freedom is multi faceted. free from slaving away for something that is of perceived value. free from perceived incompetency. free from perception of other groups of people. 

and out comes a comment that mongers fear. 

sad to say, the country where i am from, the people have been trained to fear. not to talk about "sensitive" topics. why? 

again, control. government control when the people are ignorant. not talking means not understanding. not understanding allows control.

fear, ignorance, not understanding... breeds groups of people who are craves stability, who think themselves not good enough without protection, who are divided and therefore, can be conquered.

after all, if one do not need stability, one might want change. if one do not require protection, what is the role of those who "govern"? if people are not divided, how do you control?

see herd mentality - August 2022

to cypto or not to crypto - part 2

i have just attended a crypto investor programme with Equities Tracker and am now bona fide bitcoin expert... i hope > <

so, let's test me. i welcome any question on the subject!! 

a friend did ask - where did bitcoin's value come from? 

this line of questioning is probably best done in person as different people have different perspectives. but i will attempt it anyway. so, where do any of the fiat currency's value come from? it comes from its ability to serve as money. what is money? money is something that would be durable, portable, divisible, uniform, limited in supply (hence ability to store value) and acceptability. why would you accept the US dollar but not the venezuelan bolivar as payment. it is because the venezuelan bolivar is not limited in supply (hence unable to store value). then again, the US dollar is not limited in supply. as a matter of fact, then US has been printing money irresponsibly - resulting in a worldwide inflation. so US dollar's value is simply attributable too many people are holding US dollar and may not (at this point) want to see it fail - and not its ability to serve as money. Its value lies, currently, in its acceptability.  

so, bitcoin - durable and portable as it lives on the internet, divisible up to 8 decimals (a.k.a 1 satoshi), uniform, limited in supply to a maximum of 21million BTC scheduled to be mined by 2140 and acceptability has been growing, evidenced by the growing infrastructure that support BTC. 

then why do the governments and the banks discredit the coin and say it is a scam? 

control. 

governments and banks have been the centralized authority for money all this time. they decide how much money to print (and in effect, how much and when to rob the people). with bitcoin, it is decentralized. no one party is able to control bitcoin. there is this fear of the loss of control and therefore, governments and banks have attempted to discredit bitcoin. that is, until they are ready with their version of "crypto currency". at least that is what they are going to try to get people to believe. they are going to try to get people to believe that their digital money is crypto currency - when in fact it is a world of difference. 

before buying any crypto currency - read the white paper. because there would be no authority for you to go cry to should you find your money missing and if it is missing - it is probably because you were careless with your passwords or you were not aware of the terms already stated to you on the white paper. before buying any "crypto currency" from the banks or governments - check the headlines for what they used to say about bitcoin. if they claim it wouldn't work before, why would they now have their version of the same? people do have very short term memory. thanks to branding, we choose to believe the banks although they have lied to the people over and over again. 

why would the bitcoin price fluctuate this way if it was of value?

well, it is currently finding its equilibrium. being new (and growing), its value is still uncertain because there are skeptics and there are many powerful people who would prefer if it does not exist. but if you believe that the existing monetary system is not working and that there is value in bitcoin, then if you are a value investor, you would realize that this is a value-price divergence. and it is a huge divergence. as bitcoin is not an equity, it is closer to a form of money and so, more like forex than stocks, there is no secondary value (correction for my previous post). its eventual value would depend on how widely it is accepted. the current valuation fluctuates as such because the number of people trading on it is relatively small. as the institutions are currently obviously preparing to battle bitcoin with their own "crypto" (and scam the people - again) and probably have already secured bitcoin for themselves, the subsequent waves would be interesting. 

there are so many coins out there. how do i know which coin to invest in?

similar to stocks - there are so many companies out there, how do i know which one to invest in? do your own research. find your own country's Equities Tracker. look for research that would provide you with facts. read the white papers. 

On another note, the subconscious mind is so powerful. Uncle Jimmy's words has really gone into my head and obviously, deeply ingrained in his sons'. He found a way to manage through investments and i definitely believe in value investing. Uncle Jimmy has always been all about power to the people. and supporting bitcoin is all about power to the people. his sons are perpetuating his legacy -  which is pretty cool. 

creep

my blog is becoming more of a collection of what I am fascinated by rather than what is going on in my mind. oh well... check out these girls.

the original...

talk about creepy & exciting

I cannot believe I did not share this. Was amaze when i first saw this youtube... how can anybody not be fascinated by artificial intelligence?  

zzZZZZZ

Didn't realize that my favourite past time is so critical for health! 

like that snowball

 an inspiring talk - let's learn to live well - not in spite of death, but because of it...

halo effect

 

eyes - the window to our souls

 

racism - do you know how it feels like?

Also check out how adults respond differently (sadly) from children.

adults who were subjected to an exercise to understand racism were so entitled, they attacked the speaker personally AFTER learning the purpose of the exercise. do you think they missed the point?