to prove a point

in my previous jobs, i liked the nature of the job. i just don't feel it is worthwhile slogging my life away, working late, working weekends, working the prime years away.

then, inspired by a friend's dad who said "getting vss was the best thing that has ever happened.... and wished it happened earlier".... i thought, that's true! why work for another person when you are at your prime? when you are most energetic? when you have the drive? when you are testing your limits?

also, i like the idea of growing a business. having ideas implemented and seeing how those ideas make magic. growing from a sole proprietor to a conglomerate! (yea yea, big dreams....i know, but one can dream...)

so i found out, that growing from small business to big business is not easy. may not always be a good idea. one thing is for sure. if you wanna grow, you have got to grow it fast! can't stay medium for too long. why? because there are people who would like to work for small companies. then there are people who like to work for big companies. there are people who like to work for medium size, fast growing companies. but there are none who like to work in medium size companies which are planning to stay medium forever (unless you are the boss, coz then you have no choice!).

it's all exciting, growing... making more money. but is it yours? well, you are paid to do the work. yes, but one can work only within working hours. one do not have to go that extra mile. why go that extra mile? one can do whatever one is expected to do. why do all the extra?

for the excitement of seeing this endeavor grow. because it is not your nature to sit tight and do just "what's necessary"?

but at certain points, it doesn't look like it's going to happen. everything seems stagnant. push on? but is it worth the effort? no doubt on ability to do it. (so "modest".... sigh)

maybe it's time to move on. to just earn more money. rather than grow something.

if i wanna grow something, maybe i'll just try planting another cactus. this time, give less tlc. promise not to water it to death. maybe i'll get a cactus farm! recreate a desert landscape!!! (yea yea, big dreams....i know, but one can dream...)

or maybe i'll take advise. start small. make sure it's doable. start with a taugeh farm?


see? not fickle. just analytical.