shit happens

when shit happens, our minds will want to make sense of it. to tell ourselves the story. a story we can stomach. and if we are not able to stomach the story, the mind would not rest. and our peace will be taken away. 

so we go on constructing the story. many a time, when we are constructing the story, it would be nice to put the blame on someone else. something else. so we escape unscathed. but would we? if we blame it on something else, would we not be giving the power to something else. constructing a victim story. whereby we are the victim of an injustice that was out of our hands. and if we count it, how many times would we be the victim? 

what is the alternative? be accountable. take the responsibility of allowing shit to happen. but would that mean we were not good enough and therefore allowed shit to happen? good enough relative to who? good enough for what? 

i suppose everything is transient. if we are not good enough now, it does not mean we are not good enough later. but if it was not our fault then we will never get good enough, the problem did not lie with us in the first place. 

looks like the best thing to do, would be to somehow take responsibility. we can then take the next step and allow ourselves to analyze what was not good enough. and decide if we want to fix those things. or do we want to manage those expectations better. 

future of work

would be like grab - only we are the taxis

we would be the assets that are shared

remotely supporting a few organizations

organizations? well i suppose companies will be "deconstructed"... organized in a way... remote, but working together to achieve a goal.

what can i do to fit into future way of working? 

c'est la vie

one of the saddest things in life must be to see your parents age. 

overnight success

a post inspired by a TEDX talk about overnight success. 

https://youtu.be/_azujpI4tmE

the speaker speaks about how "overnight success" does not happen overnight. the success came from pursuing your goals for years despite none success. so step one, give a thought to what is the life that you want. think about "what do you want". what is success to you? success is different to different people. step two, be brave to say it out loud and to take yourself seriously. to be honest about what you wanted. then step three, pursue the goal relentlessly. and trust that it will happen. sounds a little like the law of attraction? goals are allowed to change. but whatever it is at this point in time, take calculated risks, make sacrifices in pursuit of it. diversify your approach. the path will not be clear. but with dedication, the only question is how long it will take you to become an overnight success.

so step one. the life i want. 

be clear that to be happy, i do not need the following. however, one should have goals, yes? 

i would like to have a life partner who would loves me wholeheartedly. who would make me a priority in whatever he does. who would give me space and privacy, but be there for me always. and i would like to be the same for him. to be there the way he would want me to be there for him.

i would like to have good friends. not many, but good quality friends who would have fun good times with me and who would understand what i need in the bad times. friends whom i can laugh with. and i would be the same for them.

i would like for my parents to feel safe and loved and taken care of. to feel they will always have enough. i would like for them to feel carefree. 

i would like to have a portfolio of investments that is generating a comfortable amount of passive income per month. 

i would like to have a small house with a big nice bathroom, a big comfortable bed. comfortable shoes. a nice kitchen. a nice garden... not sure how this would be achieve since i once killed a cactus..., with very little "stuff". a nice comfortable sofa with a nice big tv. a work space for me and a work space for him.

i would like to be healthy. which means i would like to be a good healthy weight. slim. doing yoga and meditation. looking good. 

i would like to have a job/ business where i can work from home. using my strength which is apparently ideation, strategic thinking, relator - authenticity being main ingredient of a relationship, individualization where i value each person's qualities... i do love looking for a win-win. i have to think this through. what type of job would allow me to utilize these strengths best.

what have you learnt about people

saw a video on social media by BuzzFeed Video - what did you learnt about people that was so surprising? 

*you figure out who can trust, you take them with you all the way. you make life good for them. they make life good for you.

*most people are having affairs.

*give them a little something without being obvious and they will potentially feel obliged to give back to you.

*we are all the same. everybody is built the same. we act the same way. we want the same thing. we just look different to each other. but if we are really honest, you will find that we are all the same. - pc -

*When u discover people are not what they seem to be - portray alter egos depending on the crowd they are in. They feel a need to play to an audience - whether out of insecurities or a narcissistic need for adulation or to be centre of attention. There is almost a fear of being their genuine self. - sasha - 

i will continue to collect this! anybody would like to contribute? please comment.

review - mei yen

mei yen - this restaurant i used to frequent for charcoal hokkien mee, lala and grilled fish. a far cry from what it was. grilled fish is no longer there. hokkien mee and lala - mediocre at best. 

lor bak? don't get me started! nothing like its picture. displayed as RM8.50, but sold at RM15 - claiming that price stated is for 1 roll though minimum order is 2 rolls. 

positive note? they now accept e-wallets.

partnership

i had always thought having a business was going to be fun. until i had one. perhaps the issue was not having a business, rather a partnership. a partnership - be it romantic or business - is never easy. it usually starts off fun and then one would be tested. it can be rewarding. but it is never easy. 

indeed.... it has been quite a roller coaster... but i have learnt alot. 

i have learnt that it is important to choose a partner who is aligned with you on the direction of the business. one who believes in the potential of the business as much as you do. and if the partner does not, the business can be structured to reflect that. however, nobody should go into a partnership thinking it is possible to gain equally without putting in the effort (or at least a share of the risks) and without sharing the same vision for the business. 

i have learnt that it is important to choose a partner who shares your principles. some would like to treat their partners as how they would like to be treated. and as it is always subjective, some would want to ensure it is fair, as far as possible. and then there are some who would just like to ensure their own interests are protected at the expense of everybody else.

effort is difficult to quantify. which is why it is important to keep in mind, without the partners, we would not have come to this stage - whatever the stage is. i have learnt that a partner would have to strive to put in same amount of effort. and herein lies the difficulty. effort it very subjective. there are some values which are not very quantifiable, yet very critical for success. there are some skillsets that are unique to a partner. then, there are some relationships unique to a partner, which can be passed on to another partner. and some with concepts or knowledge once shared, is owned by all. but one thing is clear. the lack of effort is always clear. 

this concept of effort - some which directly result in financial gains, and some which does not directly result in anything tangible - is always further complicated by the concept of choice and risk appetite. some of us have a higher risk appetite. some cannot see the reason to take the risk as at that point in time. again, the partnership can always be structured to reflect the situation, provided the partners share the overall vision for the business and is able to think in the shoes of another. if one does not believe in the business, lower shareholdings and step out of the way. if one does believe in the business, step up and help the business along.

lastly, most importantly, ego. most of us would say, we do not have an ego. and always, somebody else does. but that would be the most common denial. as most of us identify with a sense of self. some like to be known or seen as kind. generous. honorable. smart. nice. whatever it may be, it exists. all in our head. and when that sense of self is attacked, one loses the ability to think. as it would be primal instinct to protect. whatever is in our head. because that is us. our experience of life is in there. along with the person whom we believe have been experiencing life as us. 

a partner may identify as kind and generous when actions speak otherwise. some may want to give others space to reach the level at which they are at. not realizing that there is a fine line between space given and their tipping point. i suppose the importance of the ability to communicate is key. partners must be able to self evaluate and acknowledge what the other partners are saying. that requires trust. even if we do not immediately see their point of view, the ability to discuss it, process it and understand it is important. so, understanding the partner's ego, partner's thought processes, communication, trust is important to ensure alignment. 

so in choosing a partner - share the vision and values. understand the ego and thought processes. periodic calibration - communication and trust - is critical.