yay! comments! :)

spurred on by a bff... yay! i am superly happy that i have received a comment on my first blog post since... the dawn of iphone (?)

i am actually trying very hard, to think of an entertaining topic for my beloved readers (yes, there is more than one). however, the only topic that keeps coming into my mind is work!! horror of all horrors... i have become a workaholic!!!!!

or have i? (am i in denial or am i just an optimist :))

i am not thinking about doing work. i am just thinking about whether my work means anything. i am not particularly fond of my existing work environment. i am working (very hard actually). but i am being held back by my fellow colleagues. it is an internal war i am fighting. what is at risk? my reputation. my client's happiness (which, by the way, is very important to me).

joining my current company, i felt like i was dropped into the middle of a war zone. i had an AK47 and a M16 in my hands. i then dropped the AK47. a month later, i dropped the M16. i held a parang in my hands. i was accompanied by an aspiring rambo. handcuffed by the artillery people. received 1 swiss knive and 1 torchlight. and told to enter battle.

why am i in this battle? it is actually a suicide mission! why am i not commissioning the next available sampan out of this battlefield?

is it ego? am i concern about people saying that i left because i could not handle the fight?

it is curiousity? am i just curious how far i can go once the booby traps i have painstakingly set are all in place?

is it stupidity? knowing all i know, i decided to stay on and belief that good will prevail?

is it worth it? i don't really know. actually i really don't think so. not that i am going to practise what i have learnt so far in this company. i did learn alot. learnt what not to do when i have a company of my own! not that i need to prove anything to the people out there. which is only necessary if i am planning to work for another company. perhaps it is a need to prove something to myself? nope. pretty sure i am pretty capable by now. then why?

why?