french manicure

love frenchies !!~~ but does anybody have any idea how difficult it is to maintain the gorgeous looking paint job??? how to prevent denting or scratching the surface. what littlest work must be done to get the leastest damage??

wanna eat cake

it's funny how we really can't have the cake AND eat it!

it's almost always one or another. good which comes with the bad. how attaining every want would involve some form of sacrifice.

high paying job, more work or more stress. joy of having babies, a need to provide for them. more tasty food, possibly more health issues. (et cetera...)

unless...

they say mediocrity might be the answer.

don't aim for the best? being kinda happy is suppose to mean less problems? less pay means less stress? less pleasure means less pain??

boils down to mindset. first of all, less or more is relative. mediocrity is relative. happiness is relative. relative to who? it's up to you isn't it? who you want to compare yourself to... whether you want to compare at all?

some say don't compare, it's not necessary. some say compare, it'll drive you. i say compare if you feel like it. no hard and fast rules. just do whatever makes you happy. at this moment. too rash? yea... maybe a little bit too rash. just do it, taking into account the other factors that matters to you... may not make such a great tagline.

but who's to say what's right or wrong? who would know? maybe on what everybody calls judgement day. maybe we would be able to view a video of all the possible permutations of the many decisions we have made and will make in our lives? maybe we can sit through the show making all the choices using a remote control and follow through till the end. and we would finally know whether we did right or wrong. but by then, does it matter?

those who are employees may be able to relate. i think throughout your lives you would have met ppl who are very "loyal" to the company. the person works hard. butters the boss. gets on competitors nerves. saves company's money and pisses off the vendors. and ppl go "why?" it's not his company. why do that when in the end, he gets a pittance relative to amount he brought in, maybe some recognition... in exchange for what?

maybe it's the same for every human? the body is like a collection of cells and a soul. the body = the company. the soul = the employee. we do everything that is suppose to be good for "ourself". i suppose terminal illness would be VSS. and it is lifetime employment. but in the end, would the soul really benefit after having acted in the best interest of the "person"?

losing track... too much crappin'.... and it's 11:37pm. good nite everybody...

childish?

there have been quite a number of comments saying that it's childish to pursue a matter so trivial as a tennis game gone wrong.

maybe it is?

but i suppose trivial to you may not be trivial to me.

AND i personally feel it is a lot less childish when one can express how one feels, talk about it and resolve the issue. would it be a lot better to walk away, feeling bad, keeping it to oneself and pretending like nothing happened?

i suppose childish to you and childish to me is also different.


and alot of ppl have said the matter was pursued, yes, "at whose expense?" i think i have delievered the message, whether it is received in its entirety is beyond my control. i have less friends? more hits! i have discovered that my friends are fiercely protective! :) they are also generally calm and collected and level headed (it shows through the comments written) ... there are ppl out there who are not my friends trying very hard to provoke me and my friends, which then made me very glad i do not know them...

so, i would say "expense"? :)

to all those who had texted and asked if i am ok with all the happenings in the blog... i'm goooooooooodddddddddd :) teng kiu for concern... *muacks*... fine with everything coz i am very sure about what i felt, what was done, who is impt, who is not, who needs to be answered, who can be ignored. and my friends know it too!

love me friendsssssssssss!!!

wow... i have the most superb friends ever. and it looks like other ppl have superb friends too.

i have been getting many interesting comments since the "controversial" posting involving team A/ team B. there are many postings from many anoynymouses who claims to be unrelated to team A/ team B/ and me!

however, from their comments, it seems like they are just protective friends of the one of the many teams. which is great. i am happy for these ppl who have such loyal friends. even if the way their loyalty is expressed leaves much to be desired. ie. by provoking my friends and trying to provoke me. but i am glad to note my friends have managed excellently!!! (lots of muacks!)

i must say, firstly, that i alot of comments are valid to a certain extent. different ppl have different comments because of their different experiences in life. conclusion no 1 : you ppl are not arguing! just commenting of different aspects of the same thing.

the only reason why it sounds like an argument is because a person is singled out, the their earlier posting is misintepreted (intentionally or otherwise, i have no idea).

for example, the one who singled out mf's comments. she was just saying that she can tell who are her real friends when she was through a period of time in her life when things were not easy. and mr anonymous comes up with come examples of what he thinks would have to be done to be regarded as a real friend. those examples might seem cynical. but they might be what he has experienced. don't buy, no friend.

but mr anonymous must also realise that there are many ways to be supportive, other than the monetary way. listening to the person sales pitch, providing feedback, generally being supportive when most ppl are turning away, are some of the stuff a friend can do to help another friend. so, mf and mr anonymous are not disagreeing. just different views of the same thing.

and jaimie's posting. she's a lovely, soft, and very protective friend. (in case you have not noted, being protective is a very motherly thing). but somemore mr anonymouses (i think there are more than one there) decide to select certain lines in her comments to misinterprete rather than see the true message being delivered. she was stating the fact that i felt my friends were not treated nicely and that she was proud to have me as a friend (and the feeling is mutual darling!!)

how did all those other comments come about (not that i am not happy to get that many comments!! :)) is just because i have new readers (yay!!!) which are from a different background, different upbringing, different ways of showing loyalty, different ways of interpreting stuff written. which is fine.

i am proud of how all my lovely friends have managed. how they have managed to remained calm and collected even when being provoked. how they have commented in as civil a way as possible, at the same time remaining fiercely protective and loyal! mf, km&jc, yean, jaimie, cell, love u ppl!!

that is what friends are for...

i have recently posted a rather controversial posting on this blog... (i finally got what my friends mean when they say controversial gets readers!)

and there was a comment which advised "do not burn bridges" and that "i might need them some day"...

i have not seen alot of things throughout these years of my life, but i have seen one thing. when times are good and things are going great, friends would be aplenty. when times are bad... really bad (many people may not experience these kind of bad times), those are the times when you would know, who your true friends are. and if they are true friends, the bridges would not burn so easily.

so, are all friends equal? ask yourself, aren't there friends that you would do more for? go the extra mile?

and just for the record, i do not make friends thinking they may come in handy one day.

AND it's not the numbers, it's the quality...

uncertainties...

there are a lot of uncertainties at the moment. a number of choices. all are tempting. all with uncertainties. some aspects are downright frightening!

i do not doubt my own capabilities (how about that for confidence?? too much?? misplaced??? ... anyways..), i do not doubt my ability to adapt, but i sometimes wonder (nowadays, a lot of the times i am wondering) if there are somethings that i might not be able to control in time to come?

then i tot, life is too short to consider those uncertainties. managed when the time comes? but then again, if it is foreseen, and yet i proceed... wouldn't that be a little bit on the stupid side?

it's like being in a jungle, seeing a nice clean pool, thinking should i jump into it? all signs are screaming mirage!!! don't jump!!! it's a pool of quicksand!!! and me being either stupid or overly optimistic, think, what if it's really a pool? life's too short. play hard?

sorely disappointed...

group A comprised of funny, sociable and seemingly genuinely nice ppl.

group B comprised of funny, genuinely nice and most-of-the-time-cliquish ppl.

group A met group B today. suprisingly, group B fared pretty well. significant effort put in to be friendly. no complaints despite the many things that can be bitched about. not a single comment on group A.

however, group A was sorely disappointing. as there very obvious display of unfriendliness. though, to be fair, not the whole group was at fault. but i suppose being a part of the group, one would generally react in respond to peer pressure! and part of group A very recently was very upset over the fact that certain parties are not genuine nor sincere in friendship. i say, look inward. are you genuine?

i was pretty pissed. and for a very long while, i was wondering if i was being a bitch, unnecessarily. maybe it's age, i thought...maybe even hormornes... over sensitive?... channelling other feelings out in form of anger???

after having given it much tot, i conclude that, no, it's none of the above. i think i just take it very personally when my good friends are not welcomed. if they are not good enough for you, then neither am i...