the best version

 most of us believe we are meant to be more

that we have not reached our fullest potential

and that is what most of us really want to do

but how many of us actually get there? 

would we know when we are there?

most of us spend time pondering, when it is no secret. all those who are there have shared how.

so, today's improvement - first things first. and let's make it a habit.

moving forward

moving forward is not as easy sometimes....

when you have seen a side you do not wish to see....

when you cannot un-see what you have seen....

when what you once see as great is really not so....

what can be done? 

again, expectations is the culprit. how do one adjust expectations. how do one eliminate expectations. it seems having expectations is the problem. i think i have a post that says comparison is the problem. but i suppose one can only compare if one has an expectation. all though each and every one of us is different, but if we have the same background, we expect to be comparable. if we are the same age, we expect to be comparable. we find one common factor and all of a sudden, we are comparable. 

then again, who says it cannot be both?

expectations and comparisons are the problems. sorted. 

so, back to moving forward.... 

note to self....

7 June 2020

some of these points were brought up during ALS. when attending ALS, there were some topics that were not clear. but over time, as i experience life, i gained more clarity. 

it is true. we are all more similar than you can possibly imagine. attending this course simply enhanced awareness. experiencing life allow one to go deep. as we progress through life, meeting many different personalities - they only seem different at a glance. as one experience the person, they inevitably fall into one of lessons in the course. it is magic! 

then again, it may be the case of thinking yellow cars and all of a sudden yellow cars appear every where....

whatever the case may be.... there are a few note to self. i should go through this list every morning (so i say today! know myself better than to make such a commitment)... anyway here goes....

• say less, listen more

• do NOT interrupt mid sentence (most recent lesson)

• victim story: do NOT find a reason for failure (it wouldn't matter anyway, might as well spend the energy and time looking for ways to succeed) - the story can be repeated a million times, broadcast for the whole world to see, and it would not matter - because to you, you failed 

• intention: when this is unclear, nothing will happen

• focus: when you are clear and single minded, you will succeed. the people you need will appear. the path to success will be clear. resonance. vibration. energy. it is amazing. (the last dance) (the secret)

• be brave. it is truly better to apologize than to ask for permission. just do it!

• mirror: when we dislike something in another person - remember to look a little deeper. resolve the issue. until the lesson is learnt, it will persist. what you resist, will persist. because the universe is more stubborn than you. when the universe wants you to learn something, you will learn it eventually....

• surrender: plant the seed. water the plant. and trust it will grow. if one think of drought, drought may come. no need for such control. if it comes, it comes. and if it comes, perhaps a new tools will be created due to the drought. but no need to attract the drought!!

• we already have everything we need to succeed inside us. some books say god is inside each and everyone of us. some say god is everywhere. i am not particularly pious (getting a feeling of de javu - so i may have blogged on this before), and i am not claiming to be right. this is just how it seems to come together for me. if we have to believe in something else... the powers up above, to enable surrender.... then we actually do have everything inside of us to succeed in the first place. the entire concept of religion seems to be allowing surrender. you do what you can and surrender. so prayer works because as one pray, one is believing it will happen instead of attracting the wrong energy by thinking about all that can go wrong. disclaimer: i did not read the books that may have the above title. so, i did not mean to quote them!!

• contract: brave, passionate, honest

(i have probably forgotten some of the lessons learnt and i will not be blogging those i have not quite understand. so this post - to be updated periodically)

• 1 sep 2020: an update. a lesson learnt from yesterday. again, we are all the same! we all seek happiness. the only thing different is the level of awareness that happiness is a mindset and for the unaware, what we think we need to be happy. many would think money would bring happiness. some say prominence or a sense of importance would bring happiness. some wants to be married or to have found a soul mate to be happy. some thinks being married or having found a soul mate would make their parents happy (this is worse, because if the parents are unaware, then after you have gotten married, you would need to get a baby for them to then want another grandchild and then would want to see you have a big car or a big house, etc.... to be happy!) i suppose that may be why most gurus would ask those who want enough money to be happy - how much would be enough? because there is no quantum. you are happy or you are not. be.do.have.

• also very linked to victim story. i suppose if one is unhappy, and if one does not believe it is his or her mindset, then it must be somebody else's fault! and of course the whole world must know the same! and so the story goes.... everybody is always thinking i am not important.... everybody takes advantage of me.... everybody bullies me.... you get the idea. also linked to post on "patterns". if everybody is always doing something. the problem is likely self.

• realization - that all the self development courses is very simply providing awareness of what is. there is really no secret. is it there, plain and simple. but we need someone we trust to know, to tell us. or we need to undergo a process to be aware. a process we believe worked because we saw the change in someone else. 

• 3 sep 2020: How can I forget thinking in abundance. one of the toughest thing to do as we are programmed to be the opposite. but amazing how a simple paradigm shift can bring one so much more. 

only about 20 years behind....

i love ideation. or at least what i understand it to be! i love coming up with ideas that i consider brilliant!! so for the last few years, i have been writing down the ideas on new apps that come to me whenever i need something. unfortunately, i am not internet nor app savvy enough to realize that some of these ideas already exist.... 

the latest being my app called decon (from deconstructed). it was meant to enable a business owner to deconstruct his business into numerous parts, each which is managed or created by someone else. business owner is therefore, more like a project manager. employees will be freelancers. effectively jumping into the bandwagon of more effective utilization of resource thanks to the internet - uberizing people!

i went on the put this app into a picture. containing all the pages, features, databases, links... you get the idea. then i looked for a developer. the first person i approached was my monster brother. i described the app and he went "it already exist"... to add salt to wound "20 years ago". type upwork into google. and there goes a dream....

having said that, a friend of mine - andrew - said (not in his exact words, but something to the effect of) - whatsapp came out after icq. facebook came out after friendster. and quoting his dad's favourite person in the world, "..follow your passion"...to take that advice, i will have to recover from this mini set back. 

the last dance

m had pushed me to watch this documentary of michael jordan and chicago bulls. i was wondering why. then i watched it. (at least i started watching it! in the middle of it right now - but i had to note this down before i forget it!!)

inspiring.... 

in the documentary, everybody was telling their story. why what happened, happened. just like in the real world. everybody tells their story. and there were the ones who stood out - michael jordan, scottie pippen, dennis rodman, magic johnson, phil jackson, even jerry krause - they were good, if not, great at what they do. 

but what really stood out to me, was how michael told his story. there was very little on the whys, and hows. there was very little concern about what other people think or do. very little concern on prepping others about what the story is. very little need for a story. it was just what needed to be done to get there. the incredible focus. 

i am sure life is not perfect for anybody. but what some choose to focus on drives them differently. and so they stand out differently. 

also inspiring - how phil jackson brought out the best from each individual and how he pushed the right people to bring the team together. the perspective, the strategy and the persuasiveness. all while being himself. 

then magic johnson - there is an awareness. and yet there is lightness. there is good. and his face... there is kindness. 

of course, this is a documentary and perhaps like biographies, it is scripted, proof read, edited. perhaps it is very different from what is truly experienced by those present then. but like a very wise man said, it does not matter if it truly happened. what matters is the story is told in a way, it gives guidance. 

i will take that.

and what a last dance that must have been. 

new ways

imagine if we take only what is necessary from earth. like what the other creatures do. imagine if we help each other when it is necessary. imagine if everybody is a giver. we will always have enough.... 

And The Band Played On 1993

an interesting movie. there are heroes amongst us... as there are monsters. how self interest of a few would expose many many others to dangers, risks, death that can be avoided. and then how disgusting, that the monsters are subsequently revered. so many a times credit has been taken by those not worthy. some may say no conclusions can be made after watching one movie. no matter that the movie has shown what has been seen time and again in real life. the fact that is it so likely is what made it so compelling. makes one think... have i been on the side of the heroes? or the monsters? fact is, only the hero or the monster would know. the rest have bought a story. and we all know there are two sides to a story. fact is also that even the hero or the monster would have bought a story. which is why the story has to be told time and again. to convince themselves that it is justified. in the end, perhaps no one would know who is a hero nor a monster. i guess the question is, does it matter? hero or monster, after death, does it matter? everything is transient...