when shit happens, our minds will want to make sense of it. to tell ourselves the story. a story we can stomach. and if we are not able to stomach the story, the mind would not rest. and our peace will be taken away.
so we go on constructing the story. many a time, when we are constructing the story, it would be nice to put the blame on someone else. something else. so we escape unscathed. but would we? if we blame it on something else, would we not be giving the power to something else. constructing a victim story. whereby we are the victim of an injustice that was out of our hands. and if we count it, how many times would we be the victim?
what is the alternative? be accountable. take the responsibility of allowing shit to happen. but would that mean we were not good enough and therefore allowed shit to happen? good enough relative to who? good enough for what?
i suppose everything is transient. if we are not good enough now, it does not mean we are not good enough later. but if it was not our fault then we will never get good enough, the problem did not lie with us in the first place.
looks like the best thing to do, would be to somehow take responsibility. we can then take the next step and allow ourselves to analyze what was not good enough. and decide if we want to fix those things. or do we want to manage those expectations better.
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