eating alone

since taking up a sales job, i have gotten accustomed to eating alone. i enjoy it, as a matter of fact! i love people watching :)

so, there i was, having roast chicken rice, all by myself... watching the world go by... then i thought - it's smack in the middle of dinner time... what if somebody i know comes into the shop and sees me eating along? all of a sudden eating alone doesn't seem so fun!

what changed? i love eating alone at home, plopped in front of the tv, pigging out on whatever i fancy that day. i love eating alone when i am travelling for work, watching the world happen all around me... why then, would this thought pop out of nowhere?

i was in subang - where i grew up, attended school, where i am most likely to bump into a peer...

omg~ i was concerned about being perceived as sad! i have to slap myself... since when did i subscribed to other people's definition of success or happiness?

and how would anybody know if somebody who is eating with a big group of people is happier than somebody who is eating alone - being alone when one is alone is far far better than being alone when one is a part of a big party!

the family of husband, wife, baby and father (i think) who was eating at the table next to mine did not look too happy to be dining as a family...

the bf-gf/ husband-wife eating in the table in front of me was definitely more engrossed with their samsungs than with each other...

what if i bump into a peer who appears to be having a happy family, doing great work and managing finances superbly?? i shall be happy for the person :)  and not think that other people spend their precious time speculating about my life - afterall, most times we think people have opinion of us, when in fact, they don't give a ****

and so what if they actually do speculate about my life? and so what if they think i am sad coz i was eating alone?

i shall not give a ****

but according to AS - perception is reality...

the again, someone far wiser said - if you don't like me or what i do or how i live my life, it is mind over matter - i don't mind, and you don't matter :)

p/s, i didn't bump into anybody~