I'm back!!....(again)

the last time i made a comeback, i lasted 4 months....i am keeping my fingers crossed that this time round, there will be enough interesting things going through my mind to keep this blog running for awhile! the thing is, there is not many interesting thoughts at this point in time. as i read through my previous postings, i had thought wow! i was quite interesting (at least relative to now). i wonder why? was it due to my perception of timeline? as time goes by, i feel i have less time than before... although in reality, i do not really have more or less time left, as i wouldn't have known before (or now for that matter) how much time i really have in total... does that make sense? and as i think i have less time left (though i really should not dwell on something that I will not be able to predict), i will feel more pressure to seize the day. and what does that mean? do what i feel like doing? what if what i feel like doing does not make sense if i have a long way to go? what if what i feel like doing leaves a mess for people i leave behind because i did not get to finish it up in time? what if there are debts instead of assets to give away? a big mess instead of legacy! i guess it does mean do what i want to do... because reading my previous sentence made me realize how silly it would be to live a particular way just to ensure when we leave this world, it would be in a neat little package with no loose ends whatsoever. that would be rather sad. like we have not lived... then the more pressure there is to live it right (due to the perceived shorter timeline), the harder i would think about what i should or should not do because with less available time, i would not want to spend it doing the wrong stuff. then again, who is to judge? one thing is for sure... i still overanalyze stuff. somebody once said... just do it...I should listen to that somebody. then again, my overanalyzed thoughts may be wrong!! perhaps i do not have interesting thoughts because i am talking to less people because i have less friends since most of them became more preoccupied with their family and the single friends have moved to neighboring countries... whatever the reasons are, just do it still sounds right. so, here goes...